the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
