Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
