You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
But we have bathrooms and they dont
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
