He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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