Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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