Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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