Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I pour the whiskey from now on
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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