From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
