remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
