I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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