I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Everyone says I win the strip club
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize