We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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