I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
