Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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