but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
