I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
