Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
