I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Text me some of your sweat
tell me about the eggs
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