I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
