I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
