I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize