Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
