I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
