:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
