I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize