Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
