it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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