If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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