I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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