lets start a swedish sibling band together
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
