4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
