Will you blow on my dice?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
