508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
