Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
