So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm at about main and main street
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
