Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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