I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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