Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
