is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
