So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
