Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up under a house in Key West
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
