I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
