This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
