Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
