worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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