he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
