I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
