Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
