Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just had sex on a roof
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
