need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
