I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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