Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize