So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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