butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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