im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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