oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
