OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
