were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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