Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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