I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
