yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
