I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
