Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
