You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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