Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize