I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
