Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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