i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
