oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
