Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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