is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
