I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
