Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
