We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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