I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
