with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize