This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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