I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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