I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
