So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
