Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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