Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
