Sponge bath it is.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
