Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
