just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she smelled like a LAN party
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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