so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize