she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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